Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I cannot find my penis.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
