We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
