Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
it was like eating out sand paper
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
