whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
