he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Randomize
