They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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