I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
