The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
What drink are we having for lunch?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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