hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
how does that bad decision feel?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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