I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I wish i was in the wii world.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
