hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
