A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
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