Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
