I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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