Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I FOUND THE LEGS
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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