In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
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