Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
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