So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
