Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
