5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
