it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
