I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Randomize
