so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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