what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
