so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
