Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize