he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
