I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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