I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
