just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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