16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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