the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
