the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Randomize
