Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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