I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize