never play flip cup with pint glasses
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
