i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
