After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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