I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
True strength comes from lack of pants
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
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