I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
50% drunk capacity currently
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
