so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
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