he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
