My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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