Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
it hurts more in the daytime
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
