what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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