I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Still dying that you shit outside
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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