She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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