Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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