I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
