her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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