Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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