What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
