how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
