yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
you win again, gameday.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
