Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
im calling her cock vulture from now on
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize