Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
