your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I need to calm my uterus...
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
