I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
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