Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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