I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
