I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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