There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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