we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
If I die, sorry about rent.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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