y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
