I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
