well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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