Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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